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Excitement Roars as Canadians Become Real Americans

Ottawa: Today there is a new attitude in the Canadian Capitol as the people chant: “Yes We Can,” and “Oui, nous pouvons.”


“We wish to show unity with our new leader,” said Dominique Peridot, a Hot-dog vendor at a rally in downtown Ottawa on Saturday. “Yes we can finally be free. Yes we can use real money, not that fake funny-money we’ve been peddling all this time. Yes we can! Yes we can!”

The US Government took over the Canadian Capitol on Wednesday as a result of a bet President Obama won against Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. According to Canadian Press Secretary Sara MacIntyre, President Obama was depressed last month and drunk dialed Prime Minister Harper, lamenting that the Republicans were going to take over the House of Representatives in the upcoming election. Prime Minister Harper tried to console him by wagering the entire Canadian government; he believed the Republicans were “old news,” he said in a phone interview on Friday, “If it wasn’t for all the Absinthe I’ve been drinking lately, I wouldn’t have made such a frivolous bet; but, I’m sure President Obama will do a great job. And to be honest, I’m quite happy that we will actually be Americans now.”

“I have great hope for the people of Canada and in these exciting and unique moments we can now share our freedom with our northern neighbors.” President Obama said at the rally in Ottawa on Saturday, “I’ll see that each and ever child will have have the education he or she deserves. They will be free from the threat of terrorism, have a genuine opportunity to escape poverty, and most especially, will one day have free medical care.”

The Presidential Cabinet was ecstatic after hearing the news on Wednesday, “We may have lost The House on Tuesday” said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, “But we got Canada!”

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