Excitement Roars as Canadians Become Real Americans

Ottawa: Today there is a new attitude in the Canadian Capitol as the people chant: “Yes We Can,” and “Oui, nous pouvons.”

“We wish to show unity with our new leader,” said Dominique Peridot, a Hot-dog vendor at a rally in downtown Ottawa on Saturday. “Yes we can finally be free. Yes we can use real money, not that fake funny-money we’ve been peddling all this time. Yes we can! Yes we can!”

The US Government took over the Canadian Capitol on Wednesday as a result of a bet President Obama won against Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. According to Canadian Press Secretary Sara MacIntyre, President Obama was depressed last month and drunk dialed Prime Minister Harper, lamenting that the Republicans were going to take over the House of Representatives in the upcoming election. Prime Minister Harper tried to console him by wagering the entire Canadian government; he believed the Republicans were “old news,” he said in a phone interview on Friday, “If it wasn’t for all the Absinthe I’ve been drinking lately, I wouldn’t have made such a frivolous bet; but, I’m sure President Obama will do a great job. And to be honest, I’m quite happy that we will actually be Americans now.”

“I have great hope for the people of Canada and in these exciting and unique moments we can now share our freedom with our northern neighbors.” President Obama said at the rally in Ottawa on Saturday, “I’ll see that each and ever child will have have the education he or she deserves. They will be free from the threat of terrorism, have a genuine opportunity to escape poverty, and most especially, will one day have free medical care.”

The Presidential Cabinet was ecstatic after hearing the news on Wednesday, “We may have lost The House on Tuesday” said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, “But we got Canada!”

Comments

Dark Horse of the Apocalypse

Here I am, my second blog entry. What I have to say, I am not sure, I have so much to say but nothing to talk about. I watched I Am Legend the other day; in spite of video-game type CGI, the film was pretty decent. I cannot say it was memorable, as far as an apocalyptic film goes, it rose just above mediocre. Children of Men is far more entertaining, deep, and plot driven. If one were to spend two hours, the latter would be better time spent, especially considering the production quality. Speaking of the apocalypse, the presidential race is heating up quickly. Apparently, Mike Huckabee has something to offer as a presidential candidate. I did not know the GOP is so interested in perpetuating the Bush foreign policy that they are willing to support a pseudo-clone of the current commander-in-chief our nation so dearly admires. Ron Paul receives little-to-no attention from the media compared to other candidates but he has the money and grass roots attention (including a priva...

The Weakness of My Father

“ When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ” - I Corinthians 13:11 The Weakness of my father was unbelievable to me. As a young boy, I idolized my father. I really believed he was the biggest and strongest man on earth. A vivid memory haunts and elevates me simultaneously: I remember talking to my kindergarten teacher about my dad and how strong he was; I told her he could pick up a house with his bare hands, he was that strong. Of course, that is silliness to an adult, but to a child, it's my salvation. That is to say, the strength and fortitude of my father were something inspiring as much as it is comforting. He's the foundation of my strength and safety. He comforts me, corrects me, teaches me, and of course, comes down to my level to communicate and lifts me up when I fall. If he can pick me up with his bare hands, then he can pick up a house. When I did right he gave me enc...

Bye Bye Mr. Stinky

I was a special education teacher. Matter of fact, I taught Special Education for four-and-a-half years. I taught some non-verbal kiddos how to read, increased the diversity in their diets, taught them games and social skills, and–what I am most proud of–I helped kids out of diapers, who were well past the time to meet that milestone… And let me tell you, that is not always an easy task. It is always a rewarding task. Find the carrot By carrot, I mean the motivation for doing something that is not preferred; for example, if you want to buy a beer, but you have no money, you might help a friend move. Moving is a total garbage activity, but he may pay you and buy you beer; if you know how to negotiate, you will get an unhealthy amount of pizza too. BAM! You had no money; now you have pizza, beer, and money, because you leveraged your time and effort. Potty training is no different. The kiddos usually don't know how to leverage their time and resources to get what t...

Rory Christopher's blog thinger

Search This Blog